Work Experience Student got into the lift with me, and smirked. "So, have they cleaned up all the mess upstairs?" he asked. "Um, yeah, the cleaners have been," I replied. He chuckled. "Man, that must have been so gross."
When I related the exchange to Smoking Lawyer, she said, "And you realise he's married and has a kid." I was surprised. "Really? He looks like he's about 15. He certainly acts like he's about 15." I stomped to my chair. "I just can't believe men's reactions - instead of, oh, that must have been scary, they all focus on the bodily fluid business. I mean, it's not like I want to go and roll around in the stuff, but it was a medical emergency that was extremely embarrassing and terrifying for Secretary - and all her boss and all the other male employees can say is, 'Gross' and they're glad they weren't here. Even those with kids! It just disgusts me. What the hell is wrong with them?" Smoking Lawyer shrugged. "Eh, they're all socially inept wankers. Don't worry about it."
Secretary had her baby, a little girl who will spend the first month of her life in hospital. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to not be able to take your child home with you. And Work Experience Student's comment on all that is "gross"? The human species, man. We're classy.
When I related the exchange to Smoking Lawyer, she said, "And you realise he's married and has a kid." I was surprised. "Really? He looks like he's about 15. He certainly acts like he's about 15." I stomped to my chair. "I just can't believe men's reactions - instead of, oh, that must have been scary, they all focus on the bodily fluid business. I mean, it's not like I want to go and roll around in the stuff, but it was a medical emergency that was extremely embarrassing and terrifying for Secretary - and all her boss and all the other male employees can say is, 'Gross' and they're glad they weren't here. Even those with kids! It just disgusts me. What the hell is wrong with them?" Smoking Lawyer shrugged. "Eh, they're all socially inept wankers. Don't worry about it."
Secretary had her baby, a little girl who will spend the first month of her life in hospital. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to not be able to take your child home with you. And Work Experience Student's comment on all that is "gross"? The human species, man. We're classy.
***
(Addendum: Secretary's baby died during the night. I'm stunned by the news - I can't imagine how devastated she and her family must be. What is appropriate in these situations? A card? A note? We sent her flowers to congratulate her on the birth - how can we possibly send them in condolence as well?) 
7 comments:
Frankly, if that's a typical example of Work Experience Student's reactions to things, I'm glad he wasn't there, too. He'd have been a right pain in the neck while others sorted out getting Secretary the help she needed with her premature labor. Essentially the only thing I'd have trusted him with in the event was calling the cleaning crew.
And not all men are like that - my dad, for example, picked up my mom when her water broke for my little brother and began issuing orders while carrying her to the car. That's what you get with someone who's both ex-military (at the time) and a doctor (or at least soon to graduate from med school - I can't remember whether it was that year or the one before).
Oh Cee, I read your post about the birth earlier this morning with such joy. I must say, I was slightly nervous; 29 weeks is early. But now to come crashing down so hard. Secretary and her husband must be feeling truly awful.
A better gift than flowers? I've noticed that some bereaved parents often don't eat properly for some time. Wait a few days and see if that is happening. Maybe an organised stream of home-cooked meals? Alternatively a freezerful of those supermarket frozen dinners plus some fresh fruit might be appropriate. Maybe a couple of weeks subscription to a meal preparation service? (LiteNEasy? I'm sure there are others.)
Best wishes -- Mike
oh dear :(
I'm very glad not all men are like that PF - it just depresses me the number of men who are.
It was terrible news Mike. Unfortunately, I don't really know Secretary well enough for the meal idea, but it's a good one. She asked for donations to the neo-natal ward at the hospital, so I'm doing that.
My thoughts exactly, Mela.
Oh how incredibly awful for her. I just can't imagine.
This is just awful. I haven't checked your blog in a while but I remember you mentioning that your secretary was pregnant. In fact, just this morning I remembered something you said about it and smiled. To read about what happened to her daughter brings back some hideous memories (and we were lucky). Even though I don't know her, I feel such sympathy towards her and her family. This is not something a person gets over even in the best case scenario. I know I'm far too late in saying this, but the best thing to do in these circumstances is to at least acknowledge what happened. Some people we know totally ignored what happened at Kiko's birth and while I'm a very easy-going person, I still don't know if I can forgive them for that.
Thanks for the advice Helen - she will return to work in a week or so, so I will try and speak to her about it in a normal way. She sent around a little story with photos of her time with her daughter, so maybe commenting on that would be a good place to begin.
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